It's a saturday morning....but i'm still in my PJs...
hahaha....coz gonna work later at 2pm...so might as well i change later...
it's gonna be a very long day today...
hopefully the time passes faster like few days ago...
so far the shortage i was talking bout.....it was covered...it wasnt me and hafiz faults....
tt was life saver....
gosh...my stomach is growling la....
hm...better get my lunch soon...
and fry some nuggets......
den i can snack at 7-11 later.....
working with cheng ho later........i wonder how is the atmoshpere like.....
hahaha.....
i'm gonna be very busy this august....with all the events coming....
there will be a soccer match between bishan and tampines yet again....
awww......i wonder who will win.....
i cant wait for the women soccer match....
if mr.borhan go organize....
argh!!!!i sure would love to play la....
me and darlz.......weeee!!!!!
then can start playing and practice on my left leg kicking......
busy-busy-busy......
wah!!!!!
where art thou mr.superman???

Once when i was a lil gurl...
i love playing pretending........
while other gurls played barbie dolls....i played water guns,pistols and racing cars....
i didnt had proper barbies and lovely girl toys.....
i played at the playgrounds and ride bicycles.....with training wheels at the back...
zooming under the block and after that crashing into a wall and got hurt....
i didnt know what was gentleness all about......
i didnt know being a girl was all bout proper and dainty....
all i knew was rough and pain......
i injured myself numerous times...not caring how the cuts and wounds would make me look ugly.....i still rembered...going home from primary school...in the afternoon session......
with iodine medicine on my wounded knee....and dry blood on the skin...
my mom wont say nothing...coz she knew i wont hear any advice....

i hate losing in competitions......
i always wanted to win......and i would cry coz i didnt win the 1st prize in sports day...
how petty can i get........
i went to school with only having fun in my mind...
while other girls sat in a corner and giggled to themselves lookin at the boys in my school..
i played catching and shooting rubber bands with the rest of the boys....
i was such a tomboy back then......
there was a time we even had a spitting competition......
who can spit the furthest.........
i was one of them....doing it....hahaha...
gosh..to think back....i didnt had a proper girls childhood.......
but i never regretted.....it was all very memorable and harmless........
i turned out good....but mischievous still.......

maybe i knew that my dad wanted a son.....and i turned out to be otherwise..
i tried living to his expectations but i failed to do so...
the times when i skipped religious class...coz i wanted to watch WWF with my dad every saturday at 6pm.........we would be shouting everytime one of our favourite wrestlers were down......those were the days...........
mayb that was the reason i got rebellious now and we got further apart...
i'm sorry dad...if i wasnt what you and mom planned...
a son.......
i tried my best...but well it just didnt turn out that way.........

-1 of my thoughts-

Aku tidak bermaksud mahu jatuh dalam alam ini....
Aku tidak dapat menahan diri ini...
Ia datang secara mendadak.....
tanpa ku sangka....aku terjatoh dalam...
begitu dalam hingga tidak dapat keluar dari sini.....
hatiku terikat dengan kemanisan dari bibirmu....
mungkinkah ia satu mimpi atau realiti.....

mungkin aku bukan yang pertama
mungkin aku tidak dapat mencurimu
mungkin aku bukan yang kau mahu
tapi aku tahu perasaan ini......

aku akan lalui dengan hati yang tabah.....
walau ia amat sukar bagiku
sekiranya ia adala fantasi semata-mata....
aku harap kenangan akan terkubu dalam hati ini buat selama-lamaya

air mata ini akan membasahi tanpa ihsan itu mengetahui
hakikatnya........
ia amat pedih tidak terkata.....
tapi itu saja yang dapat aku lakukan..........

just officially finished my work just now..
hm...there was shortage when cashing out....and it was quite plenty..
i dont noe whether its gonna be my account or hafiz account or both of us..
i'm sure they will deduct from the paycheck..
ooo...bonkers!!!!

didnt went to school yesterday..
called in sick yesterday....and went to polyclinic
was totally half dead lying in bed whole day....
until sis hafta like force me to wake up and bathe for the evening...
feling much better now...all perspiring and stuff....
my fever went down lots........
and my throat is feeling much better.......
but my running nose was kinda bad...
hahaha...i practically brought to school a small box of tissue....
and a bottle of mineral water...which the rest cekop..........
hahaha....i'm sure one by one only_usmates gonna get sick la.........
coz izzah today nvr come for school also........
school was kinda slacked..
learnt new topics and revised abit for tps.......
and yea....i heard i'm gonna bcome the emcee for Teachers' Day concert...
hm...with jannah....and brendan i think....
hopefully...i will have time aite...
hahaha.........kinda excited also....but i wanna be in the dance committee....
hm...ooo...and the jan intake 05 made us a cd for the retro nite bbq.....
it was all pictures but kinda cool..
and i have lotsa cacatz faces in there.....but well...
love that nite.....coz did manage to have fun la....

Sch STARTS!!!!!
hahahaha...i almost cant be bothered to go for SC duty in the morning......
but pushed myself and got up for school....
school was slacking.........
and when i stepped into the class....mrs yeo practically approached me and hugged me!!!!
gosh...that was shocking...then she went....
i missed the lot of you.......okie i miss u too,mrs yeo....especially your nagging..
where is nana????does she haf MC for the day....
hahaha........
i will try to buck up okie....this semester.....
so that i wont get debarred from exams.....
hopefully........
project is on the way of completing i hope..........
talked and gossiped in school lots just now...

then went to tampines to meet up with fathi.....
last minute decision............
he like cam takde keje like tt......but well..managed to talked bout stuff and so on.......
it seems like what i hope that things were getting better...
turned out otherwise.......
my judgement was sooo wrong...........
khai and zab ate...well me and fad was discussing my music and stuff
i'm on my 2nd song......
yea...i did an original of my own.....in malay...
it seems i can express myself better in malay....so gotta try writing english songs.....
and i just had another one of the ideas coming in.....
wrote down the lyrics...got some tune...
working on it.....
hopefully get it finished........
passed it to aizat....to help me fill in the backgrd music.......and make it fully complete.....
it feels nice to write and create my own songs.....
its like an achieve for me......
to get connected with my music back again........

went jamming yesterday at yishun area......
it was cool to see roger...the lead playing....
i never had a chance till yesterday....
he looks geeky..but i tell you..
dont ever judge a book by its cover...
he was soooo good......
and i'm nt lying.......
love the way he played..
so we jammed some songs....
the group's original-never to see you again
another original.....abit of the priestest dance.....
no vacancy-heal me,i'm heartsick....
i sang to that song......
i love it........gettting stuck in my head la.......
hoepfully i can get to jam soon again...
i wanna listen to that again....
weeee!!!!

gosh....i was sooo pissed off la yesterday nite..
stupid hoot customers......
i was just off from my shift....and was about to go home...
when this bloody idiotic customer.....guy btw...
came in and started asking if there was a hp at the counter...
he came in around 7-9pm...and he came back like at 11pm...
after 2 bloody hours.....
there wasnt any hps when he left of coz...
and he cant accept the fact...saying he did leave the hp there and bla-bla-bla....
goodness....thick skin sia........
and he was acting all the macho thingy and stuff.....
and yea...was he drunk......
*yucks......
so we told him to lodge a police reoprt.....
and gotta call andrew the manager to check the cctv and stuff...
after like 15 minutes of argument they went off.........
cacatz sia........
that was only 2nd day of work...i think by 2 weeks..
i got sooo many gossips and stories to compile..
can write it down and published in a book or somethin.......
hahahaha...
gotta relax myself....with ice-skating......
love the ice..
weee!!!!!!!

1st day of work just ended at 11pm just now...
it was really cool for my 1st day of work.....
learned plenty of stuff....and i need to rmbr them...coz tomorrow stock comes in...
and hafiz wont be at the cashier most of the time...so i'm gonna be much alone tomorrow.....
actually its today rite.....coz its way past midnite alreadi...
gunduness.......hahahaha...
yea starting my shift at 5pm later.....
so sleep wake up ard 9++
get some shut up before work.....and then prepare my dinner and sooo....
and yea...we dont have breaks....
so we stand for like 7 or 8 hours or more.........
and we grab small bites if there arent customers.....and must be away from cameras also.....
so yea.....i didnt eat anything 4 dinner....hahaha............
goodness la..and i bloody eat breakfast only..
so when i took my small bites of donuts....
i got my gastrics and stomach upsets....

well..tomorrow will be the DAY.....
1st day at work....i'm kinda relaxed bout it.....but kinda excited too......
hahaha....(",)
my tummy is nt in the best shape ever.....
been having tummy upset for the last few days...
this is like the worse hols ever....i cant really enjoy much.....coz i was sick most of the time....
1st was the flu which lasted for 2 weeks....then the sorethroat...which is still on till now...
and now the bloody tummy upsets....

yesterday did shopping with kak noi...
we went to metro paragorn since we had vouchers...
so i bought a top from dorothy perkins......and so did kak noi...
and lingerie..weeee!!!!
got really nice ones......
after shopping for abit..went to far east and fill up our empty stomachs......
ate at ramen ten.....
yummy!!!i had sashimi and saki maki sushi.....
gosh marvellous........
then kak noi wanted new shoes so we went lookin for those....
she got her pair and got myself another top.....
shopping spree ended....
went off to my aunt's place and slack there for awhile....
played wif my lil cousins............
so cute la.....brought him to buy ice-cream and chinese rojak.......
he was sooo happy.....
didnt get to meet my dada......coz he was busy doin homework at his house...
so i just get to meet baby and afal......
hehehe....love them to bits la.........

hahaha...yat is sooo cacatz...she jus hacked into my blog just now...
after i finished updated.....
eeks.....hahaha....and there she goes posting nonsensical stuff....
bluek!!!

Im yat. i hate nana

hey...monday comes....and here am i sitting at yat's place typing my blog away...
we just finished part of the report and search for stuff online for powerpoint presentation..........
it's still kinda early for me to head for home...so been playing games at her place....
hahaha...was a happy gurl yesterday..........
after for a few days finally.....gotta hear news from him...
thank god he's in a better condition but damn...was he still stubborn?!?!
ish....but yea.....was sorta happy la..
eventhou kak noi terpekik coz i hog the phone too long..
but well.....i gotta start paying my own bills when i start work hopefully...........

so yea..we went out to celebrate izzah's bdae yesterday..
had our lunch at sakura....at cityhall....
i wore pink yesterday...an unlikely colour to be seen by me....
since when nana start wearing different colour cept for black......
hm....since i decided other colours do caught my attention....
after had our lunch there....we went to esplanade to lepak.....it's been quite some time tt only_usmates hang out together...coz most of the time all of us were too busy....especially me...hehehehe
before that me and haisah bedah went to buy izzah,raspberry mousse cheese cake......
at polar...just a slice for her la.....
and the rest brought her to esplanade.....
we sang her a bdae song and she blowed her candle....
and each of us fed her with a spoonful of cake with our well wishes..........
she was a happy gurl....coz she got herself her nike bag as her present...
then after slacking and hearing of the baybeats going on....
we walked all the way to fullerton area to take pics and stuff...
cam -whoring as usual.....i'm soooo gonna get the pics from yat...which obviously she havent even upload into her computer....hahaha...yat is sitting behind me...so hopefully she can see this.....
yat!!!!better go upload okie!!!
cant wait to see the pics............hehehe...
burp-burp!!!my stomach is soooo full of junkies......
hehehehe....
am sooo a happy-happy gurl!!!!!

hello wello(",)
it's a sunday........weee!!!!
but not exactly happy-happy mood...
its the period season....that's bad...really bad.......
i had like horrible cramps yesterday...and was stranded on my lonely bed thinking i'm gonna die soon.....like gosh...was i praying that the pain would go away.........
i cant even eat properly.....
and my flat tummy is all bloated up.......
eeww..that's nt nice......hahaha......
drink plenty-plenty of water......to get rid of bloatedness.....
and i'm sooo having really-really crazy moments of cravings...........
gonna dig out from sis...to satisfy cravings...she will so be on bout it...
coz apparently.....she's a big eater too.......

okie...went for interview just now at 7-11 below my block.......
it wasnt an interview since i actually got the job......
hahaha.....on thurs nite....the manager there....uncle andrew....
just asked if i was 18...and obviously i was....so he just passed the application saying if i wanna work.....which obviously i was....told me to fill up and come see him on sunday....
so yea...just now went to see him...
discuss bout on which days i was available and stuff.......
and i knew that the branch here is very slack and much more flexible......
hopefully it all turns out well...
and yea..i start working when my school starts...
so i still have my hols......
and yea...ALINA!!! i can go slack with you guys la.....
hopefully........hehehe......
my mom was abit noisy here and there.....like goodness......
haha..i can take care of myself la.....
its just so near my house can.....
chill mom.....
meeting only_usmates later...celebratin izzah pailang bdae......
wearing my jane shoes.........
yayness!!!!
updates at nite if i can b bothered la....

i totally cant wake up today..........
and yes...the funny feeling i get yesterday.....
it came true la.....luckily it was a small accident.....
goodness.......
met up with livi at bb mrt station today...
then we took the bus to woodlands....
talked and crapped in the bus...
but the bus was turning and turning....and i got a major big headache..
so livi hadta massage me...hahahaha...
then waited for rea at woodlands mrt station.....but while waiting....we bumped into fad...
so all 4 of us met up...and we took the train together...
fad dropped off at toa payoh.....
then we continued our journey to orchard...
ate our lunch......i had mee goreng kerang........
yummy!!!!! i am soo happy...
such indulgence.........weeee!!!!!
after lunch...went to scotts and lepak down there..
the coffee bean........
had my caramel machhiato......
yummy!!!!
its really-really nice...
bitter sweet.........haish...
i feel like i'm in heaven.....
bitter...from the after taste of coffee...and sweetness from the caramel...
it's sooo heavenly la...
what a perfect match it could be...........
after that...met up with fad at orchard and all of us went home.....
and yea....a short while only...was home before 7...
and rested for abit.......

went to the national library to search for books....
i tell you...the project i'm having is killing my brain cells....
i cant find any related books on it....
its on document and filling....so it is known to be under biz filling
but i realise library dont cater to that research........
gonna get killed for this project...gosh..
try searching what is indexes on the internet???
and you get all these stupid-stupid searches that comes out which doesnt relates at all..
i'm gonna die soon!!!!
goodness....weee!!!!
god help me!!!!

so anyway...after like brooding over the project and getting over the fact.....
that me and izzah needta do this on our own......
had our lunch at tong seng..........at the bugis there.....
then waited for nawa......and we went looking for her sunglasses...slippers...and jeans......
i got earrings for myself......
nana..is full of them la.....
hahaha.......
nawa is happy with her buyings...
then after that went to meet him at cityhall....
coz we planned these a few days back...when he knew it was his off day
sorry nad...cldnt meet you today.....
coz i cant cancel the meet up......
i will seriously make it up to u, gurl......am guilty of it...i seriously do...
watched mistress of spices....at great world city.......
damn bollywood la....
hahaha...lots and lots of talking.....
but aishwarya rai is very-very preeeeeeeetty!!!!!
no doubt about that.....

tomorrow...is meet up wif livi...and rea who's back frm UK...
hopefully rea will b able to make it..
it was supposedly a meet up on 15 july....livi booked that date...like 2 months back.....
hahaha....but 15 was out of bounds after i realise something...
so it's tomorrow...
sorry to alina and the rest too....
i cant make it to meet you guys.............
will make it up to you guys..hopefully....
i wont promise coz i dowan to break any promises....
but insya allah is all i can say yea...
but i do-do miss you guys lots......
*huggies and kisses__________
*ding you guys lots.........

well....it's a late entry from me i guess....
but i was just thinking while watching tv and you know this thoughts and ideas came into mind...
it's gonna be in malay....
hahaha...yupz...was trying to get in touch with my malay back again..
dont be surprise bout it aite.....

ku duduk seketika berada dalam khayalan......
menanti waktu berlalu yang tidak akan kembali......
hati ku berkata-kata.....
soalan demi soalan mengetuk pintu hatiku....
tetapi hanya satu membatu diriku...
untuk berfikir sejenak....

mungkin ramai telah melaluinya..
ramai yang gembira dan ramai pula berpilu......
ramai yang terjatuh.....hingga melukai diri sendiri......
kerna merasai kepahitan dan kesakitan luka itu....
ada yang dapat merasai keindahan syurga itu....kerna mereka dapat menjumpai kemanisannya..

apa yang ku maksudkan???
mungkin anda juga tertanya-tanya.....
sebenarnya diri ini hanya mengatakan tentang erti cinta......
tidak pernah kah anda tertanya....bagaimana si dia ada la si dia....
atau si dia hanya seseorang yang akan berlalu bagaikan waktu yang tidak akan kembali......

apa kah cinta ialah ketika tidak dapat melupakan seseorang......
hatimu berdebar-debar ketika melihat si dia........
senyuman mu tidak dapat disembunyikan.....
atau dirimu mulai rindu bila dia tiada disisimu.....
hatimu mulai resah bila tidak mendengar suaranya...atau khabar darinya....
tidurmu tidak lena kerna teringat tentangnya...........
adakan itu cinta....atau hanya setakat menyukai seseorang........

ku sendiri tidak dapat mentafsirkannya....
impian ku hanya la satu.....
semua wanita adala mutiara dilautan.....
sebagai mutiara itu...ku harap sinaran mutiara ku dapat menangkap perhatian seorang ihsan...
seorang ihsan yang dapat menjaga mutiara ini...
supaya sinarannya tidak akan pudar selama-lamanya.......

it's a tuesday...
and rizal is off to his call for NS.....in CD(civil defence)
had our last dinner and gathering together yesterday...before he went off....
man,gonna miss him lots....
he's like a friend i always membebel my problems and stuff to....
then i also listen to his membebel.....hahaha....
they went off early yesterday...around 10...
i was still lepaking with him for awhile.....with azri..
listened to azri's stories...and i'm shocked at what happened......
gosh....i cant believed hat kinda gurls do exist.....
it's just a disgrace to the female species.....
went off around 11++ and reached home before 12........
hope my auntie is well...she went into the emergency unit again yesterday morning..
so me and kak noi had to rush down to tan tock seng hospital....
luckily i wasnt out yet.....
kak noi settled stuff and i went off when everything was better........

these few days...eventhou i was sick..
but i was happy and feel great...
stuff somehow been going on smoothly...
despite some of it nt to my liking......tts the negative side...
but the other positive thins make me wanna smile all day long.....
anyway...progress of my health...
ultimate ZERO!!!!
i'm still blooody hell sick........

argh!!! i'm still sick la.....
goodness...this is like the ultimate sickness i get..
i only get really-really sick once a year.....
other then that i will alwaes be lethargic......
almost lose my voice again yesterday...coz i was karoake-ing.....
hahaha..
the D&D was cool...we had really sooo much fun..cam-whoring and joking.....
i had a really nice surprise......
goodnes....i didnt expect for him to turn up........
they punk'd me la....rizal and the rest plus him.......
how in the world i could even be fooled by them.......and i was complaining all this while to rizal....
hahaha......seriously made my day........
and somehow we wore something in co-ordination......
like somethin in similar.....
such a coincedence la.....hahaha.........

gonna totally miss the dudes......
like soon it's gonna b rizal's turn to go in2 NS...
kecoh-rable la they all......
gosh.....how time flies...and how the bond of us 27 peeps stays....
its seriously very amazing....i have found great friends thru OR....
i have found great sisters and brothers thru this also......
abg was happy with sis-in-law....how loveable they were yesterday.......
and abg kept looking at my direction..
with his cheeky smile...okie...i sooo get your meaning...
yes...adek was happy and truly am.....
hahaha...slept really late...around 4am...
i couldnt sleep la...with my blocked nose and sorethroat......
but the sweet memories were cool enough to be stored....
thanks for the compliments too:)

feeling much better today...
but i am still in a bad shape...kinda weak..and my coughing has just started....
the throat is really itchy to the core.......
but my fever is better off....
been taking medicine diligently.......
and jajat just called asking if i was sick...it seems he was sick since last week..
i might have contracted it from him.....
but well...mayb it was also due to the fever season too....

anyway...today....eventhou i was weak..
accompanied sis to have breakfast outside....still got mood to eat sia this gurl...hehehe
thought that swensens in westmall had breakfast but it seems it doesnt........
so instead we sat and had really early lunch...it was more of a brunch........
and swensens has a new menu....
with lotsa-lotsa new food.......
after food...was up and down in westmall..
loooking for my bloody dress for d&d....
shoes and scarf....
sis at last reluctantly spend on me for the shoes and scarf..
i paid for the dress myself......
hahahaha.....
gonna take care of myself really-really well..
so i could at least enjoy my d&d
supposed to have dance prac tomorrow...
but i dont think i'm going...coz gotta meet up with nazreen before actually preparing for d&d...
so...yea...skipping the practice tomorrow...
i wonder whats the surprise that rizal is talking bout.....
hm...*ponders_____


*me and my mushroom burger


*kak noi's sourdough 49'ers



*my god-daughters...nini and ain
Miss them lots_________

i just came back from SC bishan camp!!!!
it was on monday and today...
damx tiring la!!!! got dragon boating today..
which was really cool...coz we rock the boat from side to side...
it felt like a pirate ship seh.......and jannah was screaming..
while i was having fun....so when the boat was rocking from side to side..
me and jess sat down really low in the boat and tilt our head out so when it rocks...
our head touches the water.....coolness la..........
then we practically jump off board and into the water...
that was cool too...we did the flower hug and stuff.........
getting back to the boat was hard...coz we seriously drifted really far from the boat.....
it took us bout 15 mins and stuff...
so fun!!!!
however for all the fun....i got my payback..
having a really bad flu now!!!! and i seriously have no voice la........
like literally no voice...i sound like a bloody guy la.......
and it hurts to talk even........goodness......
but my fever has gone down...i'm feeling damn hot now........
just that i needta drink plenty of water and eat my medicine......

yesterday was fun too...coz we had campfire....
i think this is the best campfire we had so far..
my group did a stomp...and the whole camp was boggying!!!
so my purpose was served........with the song and stuff.........
we did the worm line thingy...all 90++ form a line and boggied to the song...
shakira feat. wyclef jean-hips dont lie mix bamboo.....
it was sooo cool la...
danced with alvina,fir,darlz and jannah.........
weeee!!!!!it was damn fun i tell you...the new intake of SCs also had fun......
eventhou darlz wasnt sleeping with me this year coz she slept with her camp organizing committee....i was instead accompanied by arina who practically hug me the whole night......
coz something creepy happened...........
but in all...the camp was really fun!!!!!!

fri - sunday was camp at ite tampines......
i did facilitating for their campfire there........
it was okie i guess...not that bad....the campfire was really cool..
had fireballs to light up the campfire........
had fun..i didnt do much activities coz my whole body was aching due to some reasons.....
and i was saving myself for the bishan camp..
but not sleeping for 2 whole days....took a toll on me....
i was really unenergetic and my body was tired....
but that 2 nights really was a memorable night...
it was so unexpected and i was really glad it happen........
had a dance to the song shakira-hips dont lie mix bamboo....
it was our favourite song la...
hahaha.....
danced at the dancefloor for 2 full hours.....
had sooo much fun on saturday night la........
nana is sooo menjadi-jadi eh....
rizal said.........but they were okie since i knew my boundaries...
weeee!!!!!!
what a 5 eventful day camp!!!!